Tuesday, April 26, 2011

“I Don’t Listen Well,” He Said, Part III of III

“I Don’t Listen Well,” He Said, Part III of III
By Monette Benoit, All Rights Reserved.

Part I and II began:
My mother was admitted into the hospital via ER. We thought it was a virus or food poisoning.

Soon, she was in intensive care.

Mom spent nine days, including Christmas Eve and Christmas day, in ICU.

Several professionals pushed eyeglasses down their noses to look into my eyes and ask, “Who are you again?” when I asked a direct question, then fully listened.


Part III:
At one meeting (with multiple disciplines) I asked Dad entering the large room, “Do you think we should ask about palliative care for Mom?”

Dad snapped his head and said, “Palliative care? I just don’t want her leaving in a box today!”

At Mom’s bedside today, she asked what I was writing.

Nurses look directly into my lap to see ‘what’ I am writing now (with my pen) in my lap. I told Mom I was working on this article.

I did not name the topic.

Mom, a degreed elementary special education instructor, said, “You have been listening since you’ve been here. You’re not afraid of anyone. You know details. Write about this. Write about my experiences here.”

I winced, “Well, maybe not your experiences here.”

Mom looked directly to me, “Use the facts. Tell the truth. You are a court reporter! You listen.”

I ducked my head as nurses immediately stopped changing IV bags to look into my eyes.

One nurse - fully listening - draped IV lines over her shoulders.

I did not share this article started with “Gilgamesh” and a private conversation.

I smiled to Mom and kept my head down.

Later, Mom opened her eyes and asked, “What are you really writing about?”

(That woman can hunt.)

The nurse and the aid paused, and I said softly, “Lemonade, Mom. I’m writing about making lemonade.”

My mother, who has been so ill, giggled and said, “My daughter is a court reporter.

She can listen! All court reporters have sharp minds! They all do! They listen! People think I’m not listening when I lie here with my eyes closed. I don’t have to. My daughter is an experienced court reporter. They miss nothing!”

She looked to me and slowly winked her left eye.
I almost fell over with laughter.

I focused to remain ‘listening’ with the court reporter look.

Now I ask you: Have you noticed our listening moments?

We have skills that are different than other professionals. I have been told this over and over, and I have listened.

When you read this, I pray that Mom is in a healthier place.

And I thank you for listening.

Monette Benoit may be reached for private tutoring and coaching: Monette@ARTCS.com and Monette@CRRbooks.com


Part I of III is posted April 7, 2011, on Monette's Musings at www.monettebenoit.com and www.CRRbooks.com

Part II of III is posted April 19, 2011, on Monette's Musings at www.monettebenoit.com and www.CRRbooks.com



Monette Benoit, B. B.A., CCR, CRI, CPE, Paralegal
Motivation Management & Life Coach,
Tutor and Multiple Title Author of Books & Test Prep for the Court Reporting & Captioning Industry
Realtime Court Reporter, Instructor, Consultant, Columnist

Court Reporter Reference Books & CDs: www.CRRbooks.com
Blog: Monette's Musings, www.monettebenoit.com

* Educational/Career Advancement; Private Tutoring/Customized Coaching

All American RealTime/Captioning Services, Inc.: www.ARTCS.com

Have you failed NCRA’s RPR, RMR or a state court reporting exam? I want to help you and others to pass your test and to exceed career goals. http://crrbooks.com/index.php?cPath=61

Did You Know: www.CRRbooks.com has material to help you advance skills for NCRA exams and state certifications?

Did You Know: You can accelerate your career with private tutoring and coaching?
Court reporting veteran Monette Benoit can help you achieve your goals.

Coaching and tutoring topics include:

• Motivation skills to keep you moving forward,
• Time-management skills,
• Process learning for more effective retention,
• Communication skills and daily interaction improvement skills, and much more.

Who comes to Monette for tutoring and coaching?

• Veteran court reporters, CART providers and broadcast captioners brushing up on their skills for test-taking requirements,
• In-class students who feel they’re falling behind or aren’t ready for the required tests,
• Students or veterans who struggle with focus, goal-setting, time-management or other life skills that might be interfering in their upward success,
• At-home students who want to ensure they’re on track for their exam and career goals,
• Veteran court reporters and broadcast captioners expanding their career options in related fields,
• Students and veterans alike who find they’re struggling with one or two key areas of daily practice,
• Students or veterans who have begun to question their career or whether they’re on the “right track” …


Check It Out: Reach Your Goals! Tutoring and Coaching
http://crrbooks.com/index.php?cPath=29

Monette Benoit can help you achieve at much high levels. Where do you want to go? What have you really wanted to do with your career, and ultimately, your life? Specific custom-designed guidance efficiently assists you!

About Monette Benoit:
As a 25+year court reporter, CART provider, author of NCRA test prep material and an instructor, Monette Benoit has taught multiple theories, academics, all speed classes and the 225 homeroom within NCRA-approved schools and a community college. She understands the challenges many adults now face in our industry and schooling.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

“I Don’t Listen Well,” He Said, Part II of III

“I Don’t Listen Well,” He Said, Part II of III
By Monette Benoit, All Rights Reserved.


Part I began: When the medical specialist stood over my mother’s ICU bed and said, “I don’t listen well,” I was sure he was joking.

My mother was admitted into the hospital via ER. We thought it was a virus or food poisoning.

Soon, she was in intensive care.

Mom spent nine days, including Christmas Eve and Christmas day, in ICU.

Part II: Several professionals pushed eyeglasses down their noses to look into my eyes and ask, “Who are you again?” when I asked a direct question, then fully listened.

After many moments (several weeks), multiple shifts, medical disciplines, specialties, third-party contractors, housekeeping staff, and daily rotating staff, I am focused upon how people react with our “full listening.”

I had not wanted to “out myself” as a court reporter.

In fact, I worked to share that I’m an author – or teacher.
I asked Mom or Dad not to out me.

Each time a parent detailed, “She’s a court reporter, and she’s worked in court,” I saw a reaction.

I shared that I am here as a daughter.

(Then I would think of the “Jerry Seinfeld” show, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”)

One doctor commented that he didn’t like that I was writing down words after people spoke. (I cannot make ‘that’ up.)

I explained that I write specific words to process the many, many (long) medical terms.

Perhaps I was asked not to write, not to make notes … and I listened to that request, too.

Then I wrote the details I might not have documented. A result?

One sampling: Mom received her “unavailable until Monday” scripted medicines (for an extreme rash) and had her teeth brushed late Saturday night. Really.

How was that accomplished?

I phoned late Saturday evening and said that I would bring my camera Sunday morning if Mom was not ‘treated’ with her meds and needs.

I was focused on preventing unnecessary suffering for the patient, my mother.

The hospital staff and I could not agree on the same focus.


Monette Benoit may be reached for private tutoring and coaching: Monette@ARTCS.com and Monette@CRRbooks.com


Part I of III is posted April 7, 2011, on Monette's Musings at www.monettebenoit.com and www.CRRbooks.com

Part III of III is posted April 26, 2011, on Monette's Musings at www.monettebenoit.com and www.CRRbooks.com



Monette Benoit, B. B.A., CCR, CRI, CPE, Paralegal
Motivation Management & Life Coach,
Tutor and Multiple Title Author of Books & Test Prep for the Court Reporting & Captioning Industry
Realtime Court Reporter, Instructor, Consultant, Columnist

Court Reporter Reference Books & CDs: www.CRRbooks.com
Blog: Monette's Musings, www.monettebenoit.com

* Educational/Career Advancement; Private Tutoring/Customized Coaching

All American RealTime/Captioning Services, Inc.: www.ARTCS.com

Have you failed NCRA’s RPR, RMR or a state court reporting exam? I want to help you and others to pass your test and to exceed career goals. http://crrbooks.com/index.php?cPath=61

Did You Know: www.CRRbooks.com has material to help you advance skills for NCRA exams and state certifications?

Did You Know: You can accelerate your career with private tutoring and coaching?
Court reporting veteran Monette Benoit can help you achieve your goals.

Coaching and tutoring topics include:

• Motivation skills to keep you moving forward,
• Time-management skills,
• Process learning for more effective retention,
• Communication skills and daily interaction improvement skills, and much more.

Who comes to Monette for tutoring and coaching?

• Veteran court reporters, CART providers and broadcast captioners brushing up on their skills for test-taking requirements,
• In-class students who feel they’re falling behind or aren’t ready for the required tests,
• Students or veterans who struggle with focus, goal-setting, time-management or other life skills that might be interfering in their upward success,
• At-home students who want to ensure they’re on track for their exam and career goals,
• Veteran court reporters and broadcast captioners expanding their career options in related fields,
• Students and veterans alike who find they’re struggling with one or two key areas of daily practice,
• Students or veterans who have begun to question their career or whether they’re on the “right track” …


Check It Out: Reach Your Goals! Tutoring and Coaching
http://crrbooks.com/index.php?cPath=29

Monette Benoit can help you achieve at much high levels. Where do you want to go? What have you really wanted to do with your career, and ultimately, your life? Specific custom-designed guidance efficiently assists you!

About Monette Benoit:
As a 25+year court reporter, CART provider, author of NCRA test prep material and an instructor, Monette Benoit has taught multiple theories, academics, all speed classes and the 225 homeroom within NCRA-approved schools and a community college. She understands the challenges many adults now face in our industry and schooling.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

“I Don’t Listen Well,” He Said, Part I of III

“I Don’t Listen Well,” He Said, Part I of III
By Monette Benoit, All Rights Reserved.


When the medical specialist stood over my mother’s ICU bed and said, “I don’t listen well,” I was sure he was joking.

My mother was admitted into the hospital via ER. We thought it was a virus or food poisoning.

Soon, she was in intensive care.

Mom spent nine days, including Christmas Eve and Christmas day, in ICU.

The seven doctors I met had fill-ins for Christmas holidays.
Some physicians had fill-ins for the fill-ins.

Yes, then we shifted back to fill-ins, and then back to the original doctors, Monday, December 27th, 2010, as each read the chart.

Many physicians and professionals shared details with me about specific windows of time each had to visit their family – or two families (their words).

I believe the holiday season, and watching me sit alone, shifted people as they “blew through” (their term) to ‘round’ my very sick mother.

A few whispered to me, “There but for the grace of God go I at my parent’s bedside.”

I nodded each time, listened, honored with their sharings.

Individuals privately discussed that they were driving distances to open gifts with loved ones with whom they no longer live.

As I listened, their eyes filled with tears.
Then each regained composure and continued ‘rounding’ of patients.

The physician I am writing about is a distinguished specialist with multiple letters after his name.

We liked this man immediately when he entered our small room (a unit) with a large smile.

Squeezed into an ICU spot, Dad had just described a CD series as “fascinating” and handed it to me with a simple, “Here you go.”

The physician’s interest was piqued; he asked about the CDs.

"The Buried Book, The Loss and Rediscovery of the Great Epic of Gilgamesh" by David Damrosch (unabridged) details “Gilgamesh himself at the dawn of recorded history,” from tablets lost in Mesopotamia.

The physician knew (a lot) about Gilgamesh.
He and my father began a spirited, factual, historical discussion ripe with proper nouns and dates.

Mom beamed in her bed.

Mom, Dad and the doctor had just discussed facts surrounding her grandfather’s, Adolphus Floyd, Civil War capture and two-time imprisonment (P.O.W.) for the south.

(I was pleasantly surprised that Mom was able to formulate the accurate facts and words – as she sick as she was.)

I stood at the foot of the bed and smiled.
It was so good to see bright spirits shine.

The nurse working one of many machines at bedside stopped to tip her head and listen, her back turned to us. I watched her, too.

Court reporters notice that, yes?

I had the Gilgamesh CD collection in my right hand.

Due to the doctor’s fascination and complete unabashed enthusiasm I asked softly, “Would you like to see the epic?”

The doctor quickly tucked his equipment around his neck and reached to my hand saying, “Yes! I don’t listen well.”

I paused before I softly teased about his work and why he was in the room – working in realtime.

Sincerely, he said, “Really. I score in the top percentile of the country for skills. Yet I don’t listen well. I need to see it.”

Dad said, “She’s a court reporter. You may want to watch your words. She remembers everything and can repeat your words back to you.”

The doctor said, “No, really. It’s true.”

I shared that he might be a profile for my next article saying, “I’m always trolling. Your ‘listening’ would be great for my court reporting column.”

Dad and Mom looked the best I had seen in a while. Everyone laughed, and all was right for a moment in our world.

The next day, the physician strolled into ICU and said, “I shouldn’t have said that to you, but it’s true.”

He re-introduced and expanded the conversation.

That’s when I said, “Now you are so the topic for my next column.”

Court reporters listen. We listen precisely.

We listen while thinking about our lists, working and tasking – all in realtime.
Others I’m learning? Not as much.

Christmas and then New Year’s became my quest to “listen” to their listening. People have (seriously explained to me) territories.

One could not simply step on another’s toes. (Excuse me?)

Many medical moments required instant decisions from family members with professionals, and then another specialist would enter and have a different request, set of facts, or “they can’t do that!” (Oh, yes, they did.)

One physician said, “I want to put them all in the same room and have them duke it out together.”

Dad reminded that doctor that I remember words.

The doctor said, “Good! I’m trying to help your mother! And save her life!” with two fists in the air.

I sat at the edge of the hard, uncomfortable chair, eyes and ears open.

I worked to avoid looking stunned (the court reporter look we know well).

Individuals wearing white coats and specialists wearing polo shirts appeared surprised that I listened at Mom’s bedside, then asked a brief question following a four-minute explanation.

This is what we do. We listen. We listen. Then we listen.

Monette Benoit may be reached for private tutoring and coaching: Monette@ARTCS.com and Monette@CRRbooks.com

Part II of III is posted April 19, 2011, on Monette's Musings at www.monettebenoit.com and www.CRRbooks.com

Part III of III is posted April 26, 2011, on Monette's Musings at www.monettebenoit.com and www.CRRbooks.com


Monette Benoit, B. B.A., CCR, CRI, CPE, Paralegal
Motivation Management & Life Coach,
Tutor and Multiple Title Author of Books & Test Prep for the Court Reporting & Captioning Industry
Realtime Court Reporter, Instructor, Consultant, Columnist

Court Reporter Reference Books & CDs: www.CRRbooks.com
Blog: Monette's Musings, www.monettebenoit.com

* Educational/Career Advancement; Private Tutoring/Customized Coaching

All American RealTime/Captioning Services, Inc.: www.ARTCS.com

Have you failed NCRA’s RPR, RMR or a state court reporting exam? I want to help you and others to pass your test and to exceed career goals. http://crrbooks.com/index.php?cPath=61

Did You Know: www.CRRbooks.com has material to help you advance skills for NCRA exams and state certifications?

Did You Know: You can accelerate your career with private tutoring and coaching?
Court reporting veteran Monette Benoit can help you achieve your goals.

Coaching and tutoring topics include:

• Motivation skills to keep you moving forward,
• Time-management skills,
• Process learning for more effective retention,
• Communication skills and daily interaction improvement skills, and much more.

Who comes to Monette for tutoring and coaching?

• Veteran court reporters, CART providers and broadcast captioners brushing up on their skills for test-taking requirements,
• In-class students who feel they’re falling behind or aren’t ready for the required tests,
• Students or veterans who struggle with focus, goal-setting, time-management or other life skills that might be interfering in their upward success,
• At-home students who want to ensure they’re on track for their exam and career goals,
• Veteran court reporters and broadcast captioners expanding their career options in related fields,
• Students and veterans alike who find they’re struggling with one or two key areas of daily practice,
• Students or veterans who have begun to question their career or whether they’re on the “right track” …


Check It Out: Reach Your Goals! Tutoring and Coaching
http://crrbooks.com/index.php?cPath=29

Monette Benoit can help you achieve at much high levels. Where do you want to go? What have you really wanted to do with your career, and ultimately, your life? Specific custom-designed guidance efficiently assists you!

About Monette Benoit:
As a 25+year court reporter, CART provider, author of NCRA test prep material and an instructor, Monette Benoit has taught multiple theories, academics, all speed classes and the 225 homeroom within NCRA-approved schools and a community college. She understands the challenges many adults now face in our industry and schooling.

Monette Benoit has worked with thousands of professionals, court reporters, students and instructors. She has also helped create new court reporting training programs, worked with federal grants, and assisted instructors in developing curriculum for both in-class and at-home students.

Her one-on-one tutoring has greatly assisted thousands of students, novice and experienced professionals to privately reach the next level.